His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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