i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
