Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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