Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
