Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize