My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
