yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
