I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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