The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
