so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sex in a hospital.. check
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
