My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
