i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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