I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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