Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
