so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
