Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
