the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
