I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
