We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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