Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
