yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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