I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
