Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
