Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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