Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
