Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
