im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
