somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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