Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize