No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
