check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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