Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
