I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
