your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
