i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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