I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
