I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
