he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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