I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
