Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
