He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
