I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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