took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I love you.
Bad choice
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