please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
