this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
