Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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