Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
