Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
