the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize