Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
