she woke up with a sticky ear
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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