I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
