yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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