i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
