Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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