R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
