Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
