we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
