I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
