the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
